In 2002, our family began a new tradition of exchanging love letters instead of gifts, and we gave the money we would have spent on each other to various charitable organizations. As we enter our third non-traditional observance of Christmas, I realize that our new tradition has changed more than simply how we celebrate Christmas Day; it has changed our hearts. Focusing on God’s Gift at Christmas and modeling His love to others has taught us to look beyond ourselves, not only during the holiday, but also throughout the year.

     One area of change in my life has been my attitude toward giving. How did I give? I used to give almost exclusively by writing checks to charitable organizations. I did occasionally give small amounts to individuals in need, but that seemed much less “efficient.” I told myself that I was a better steward in giving if I received a tax break, but my true motive was fulfilling my obligation at the lowest possible personal cost (like offering a blemished animal to God in ancient Israel). Why did I give? I gave primarily to fulfill what I felt as my obligation to tithe. My giving was as void of love as Israel’s worship, condemned in the book of Amos.

"I hate, I despise your religious feasts; I cannot stand your assemblies. Even though you bring me burnt offerings and grain offerings, I will not accept them. Though you bring choice fellowship offerings, I will have no regard for them. Away with the noise of your songs! I will not listen to the music of your harps. But let justice roll on like a river, righteousness like a never-failing stream!” (Amos 5:21-24, NIV).

     Our new Christmas tradition has helped me to focus on the spiritual and emotional needs of people, prompting me to give out of love and concern for them. It is easy to buy a gift for someone – simply watch TV or read the ads, and Madison Avenue will tell you what everyone “needs.” If that is too hard, a gift certificate will work every time. However, as I write my letters to each family member, there is no easy out. I must know what is going on in his or her life and understand their spiritual and emotional needs. Gone are the days of superficial conversations concerning what they want for Christmas. I find myself challenged to spend time talking with my wife and children about important life issues so that I can know and love each one, as I should. Only then can I write words that will touch their hearts and speak love, hope, and encouragement into their lives. I must first know and love them before I can give something of true and lasting value to them. In the same way, I am amazed at the insights of my family as they share their precious gifts of love through their letters.

     We had an early start on Christmas giving this year. During our recent vacation out west, we spent a few days near Gallup to build a shelter for Rhoda’s frybread stand. Rhoda is the sister of James, a dear Navajo friend in New Mexico. During the years of our friendship, we have begun to understand the brokenness and despair of so many of the Native American people. Rhoda started selling frybread out of the back of her pickup almost one year ago, and with the help and encouragement of her brother, she now has a small sheet-metal stand along the side of the road. With winter coming, she needed shelter from the wind and snow for her customers to sit and eat.

     I understand what Rhoda is doing. She wants to share her faith. Her small food stand provides the opportunity to do so with Hopi, Zuni, and Navajo people that would never come to church. They are watching her. As they see her working, some are asking her how she got started. They are beginning to think that perhaps they could do what she is doing, too. Rhoda is giving them hope.

     During our stay in New Mexico, my family built a 12’ X 16’ shelter onto her stand, along with a 10’ X 4’ addition to house a refrigerator, so that she will not have to drive 60 miles every day to purchase fresh food and ice for her cooler. We built it, not because we needed to fulfill our giving obligation, but because we feel in our hearts the brokenness and despair of these people. We have grown to love the Navajo. We know what they need, and we wish to show our love for them through our checkbook, our words, and our deeds.

     After we completed our task, James commented on the impact our little building project was having on the community. The Navajo elders were asking what kind of a god Rhoda had that would provide these things, and Rhoda told them about the God she trusts. Her customers marvel at the sheet-metal shelter, and ask who built it. When Rhoda tells them that some white people from Michigan did, they ask why we would do that. Rhoda tells of her brothers and sisters in Christ that love her and the Navajo people. In addition, her little stand and shelter is providing a gathering place for a splintered people to sit and build community. All it took was sensitivity to the Holy Spirit’s leading and a willingness to give out of love and concern for people that God created and loves.

     We still give love letters to each other on Christmas Day, but we continue to change the way we show our gratitude to God for His gift of Christ. Maybe we will write love letters to each other more than once next year. Maybe we will write these letters to people outside of our family. Maybe, one day, taking the time to know, to love, and to care for those in need will not be early if it happens in October.